Last night when I was trying to go to sleep, I felt liking praying. I admire all those people who have a “prayer life”, that have a routine of talking with their God daily. I’m not one of those people. The shame! I mean I try not to be that person that only cries out in desperation but I can’t really say I take time daily to talk with my Savior. I should be better.
Anyway, I was thinking about life and the things I still want, the things I still see myself having. Not just stuff, I’m talking goals and dreams for me and my family. You know, that life you picture yourself living. I think is was Meredith Zamora, an awesome woman from Washington state, that spoke one time at a ladies conference I attended. She talked about loving God more than the promise. I get so wrapped up sometimes in what I see for my life and get frustrated because my current location looks worlds away from where I want it to be. There are promises that I believe will still be fulfilled in my life, things that I desperately want but the wait hurts.
So last night I prayed; God if there something I need to do for you right now then just tell me. If in the waiting you have a work for me to do then just make it known to me. Basically I don’t want to settle for what I want and miss what He has for me. I know that He, in all His glory, has plans for me bigger than what I see. I get teary thinking about it because I know that all the things I “do” for Him doesn’t increase His love for me. I know that His love abounds all my its self. It’s not based on performance, I’m not an Olympic gymnast wringing my hands waiting on the all 10s before his love is bestowed on me. God help us if that’s how it works. But what I heard last night in His reply was simply; “have peace in the waiting.”
So I choose to trust Him, I love Him more than the promise, and I choose to have peace in the waiting. I’ll stand my ground for now BUT when that voice calls to me again and says, “its time to move”, I will and I’ll have peace in that too.